Bowling, The Wright Way - September 25, 1999 by Don Wright
On The Road Again

I'm on the road again and that usually means I write the column before I go, or I do it while on the road. That's easier now that I can e-mail the column and not have to depend on the FAX machine.

I always set goals and have plans when I am on the road for business. I never do that when I am on the road on vacation. For example, when I am on a business trip, I always take some shorts, a tank top and some good walking shoes. I try to walk every night. After two heart attacks I am told it's good for me. But, in all honesty I hate to walk and have to force myself to do it. I know there is no place I could walk to that I couldn't get to quicker by some other means.

I never diet either while on the road. Eating is wonderful entertainment and I enjoy it immensely. I love good food, good drink and stimulating conversation. By stimulating conversation I mean something other than business. I like debate. I will often take the opposite stance, whether I believe in it or not, just to have a good debate. I love to talk about sports. Not just bowling, but any sport. Well, not any sport. I am not a big fan of soccer, volleyball and hockey. And, everyone knows my feelings about wrestling. I will discuss wrestling with anyone. But, back to food. I figure that if I must lose weight, I'll do it at home. I'm not going to spoil a perfectly good trip by skipping meals.

I rarely get to bowl on a business trip. I used to take my bowling equipment, but the cars the government leases now are so small you hardly have room for your clothes. I don't have that much to take, but my boss, who travels with me is military. He has to have both military and civilian clothes. He also has to have PT gear. (That's physical training). I guess I could claim my bowling bag as PT gear and place it on the back seat.

Many times when I travel to law enforcement conferences they send out a pamphlet of some type telling the participants what they can expect during the week, or whatever length it is. Inevitably they will have a golf tournament. Why don't they ever have a bowling tournament? They schedule a game outside, in the extreme heat, in which you have to lug a bag full of clubs around 18 holes. Sweating, suffering from crotch rot, returning with fewer balls than you started with and willing to kill for a beer. In my game, it's air-conditioned, I can enjoy a beer throughout the competition, I will have the same equipment when I leave as when I arrived and through it all my ball comes back to me. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

I prefer writing my columns at home rather than on the road. I get some great ideas on the road, but I don't particularly like a laptop computer. At home I have a 19-inch monitor and a standard keyboard. The laptop has a 15-inch monitor and a keyboard designed for women or children, not fat fingered, two fingered typists. That's right two fingers. I learned how to type out of necessity more than 40 years ago and I am pretty darn fast and accurate with just two fingers. But, I make a lot more errors on the laptop than on my computer at home. I think I will write a book - Two Finger Typing For Dummies. Or, How Not To Hit Three Three Keys At the Same Time On A Laptop.

I love to go into Pro-Shops, especially busy Pro-Shops, and simply listen to the conversations. Busy Pro-Shops are the bowlers barbershops. I remember as a kid the barbershop was the place where the town elders gathered and solved the world's problems. After all if they didn't save the world, who would? Bowlers are no different. They can tell you everything wrong with the sport. Where is the worst shot in town? Just hang out at the Pro-Shop and you'll know. Who is the greatest bowler ever? Go to the Pro-Shop. Want to know why the locals "big-guns" are not doing well on the regional tour? Check out the Pro-Shop. One of those guns will be there to tell you he had the wrong ball, or there wasn't any shot, or it's just a darn conspiracy!

Where ever I travel, I buy a local newspaper and very seldom is there anything about bowling. There are a few exceptions, at least in Texas. Killeen, Temple, San Antonio and El Paso have excellent coverage. But, for the most part if you want to know what's happening in the bowling community you have to rely on bowling papers. I always find bowling papers at all the centers in Texas and there is quite a variety. I don't see that many when I leave Texas, but that's usually the only place you find bowling papers. Go to any 7-11 and you find the Thrifty Nickel and other free papers, why not get bowling to the masses. Who knows, 7-11 might just advertise if they have the paper.

Well, that's it. I am sure that in addition to bowling ideas that sometime during this trip I will count how many times a waitress refers to our table as "you guys." While listening to a crying child or a cell phone in a restaurant I will think that I should get a partial refund. And, wondering if I buy that new ball at the Pro-Shop after hearing all those customers rave about it, will I have room in the trunk to bring it home?

See you on the lanes.